June 2013
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
If you could shapeshift don’t even deny that you would shapeshift into a subtly hotter version of yourself over time
uhm no i’d be a dragon
i want to start a band called ceiling because then my fans will be called ceiling fans
one of my friends noticed a mosquito had landed on his bicep so he flexed and the rush of blood to his biceps muscle filled up the mosquito so much it exploded and to this day it’s one of the most badass things I’ve ever heard
- crush: so who's your crush
- me: *soulja boy voice* YOOOUUUUUUU
"Okay, so here's why girls don't get flattered when guys comment on their bodies."
